SPLIT UP THE MIDDLE - Gross jokes

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SPLIT UP THE MIDDLE
Once there were two twins, Joe and John.  Joe was  the owner of a dilapidated old boat, which sank the same day that John's wife died. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and  mistook him for John. 

"I'm sorry to  hear about your loss.  You must just feel  terrible." 

"Hell, no! In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her.  She was a rotten old thing right from  the beginning.  Her bottom was all shriveled up  and she smelled like old dead fish.  She was  always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too.  Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy.  I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time.  I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow.  The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split  right up the middle."