EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX
How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!
What's the definition of a teenager?
God's punishment for enjoying sex.
Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
They'll never see you coming.
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.
What does Kodak film have in common with condoms?
Both capture the moment.
Define Transvestite:
A guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary!
Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each other's shoulders?
A scrotum pole!
What's the ultimate in rejection?
When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Why don't debutantes go to orgies?
There'd be too many thank-you notes to write.
What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot?
'How come?'
What is every Amish woman's private fantasy?
Two Mennonite!
Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.
Can you say three two-letter words that denote small?
Is it in?
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One... Men will screw anything.
How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!
What's the definition of a teenager?
God's punishment for enjoying sex.
Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
They'll never see you coming.
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.
What does Kodak film have in common with condoms?
Both capture the moment.
Define Transvestite:
A guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary!
Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each other's shoulders?
A scrotum pole!
What's the ultimate in rejection?
When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Why don't debutantes go to orgies?
There'd be too many thank-you notes to write.
What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot?
'How come?'
What is every Amish woman's private fantasy?
Two Mennonite!
Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.
Can you say three two-letter words that denote small?
Is it in?
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One... Men will screw anything.