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funny thoughts


ponderings collection 26
 
 
I couldn't repair my brakes, so I made the horn louder.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

What happens if you get scared half-to-death twice?

If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

I intend to live forever -- so far, so good!

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

ponderings collection 07
 
 
Why is there an expiry date on my sour cream container?

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

Why do we send cargo by ship, and shipments by car?

Why call it a building if it's already been built?

Why do kamikazee pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?

If the front of your car says 'DODGE', do you really need a horn?

What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?

ponderings collection 01
 
 
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

ponderings collection 08
 
 
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Do blind eskimoes heave seeing-eye sled dogs?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do radioactve cats have 18 half-lives?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?


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