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ponderings collection 16
 
 
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

The pen is mightier than the sword -- if the sword is very small and the pen is real sharp.

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

Call me insane one more time and I'll eat your other eye!

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out?

The trouble with doing nothing is that you never know when you are finished.

Money isn't everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.

ponderings collection 17
 
 
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, does it make a sound?

A single fact can spoil a good argument.

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

If you yelled at your plants instead of talking to them, would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

ponderings collection 20
 
 
Why is the word abbreviation so long?

How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

You know how most packages say "Open here".What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings do orientals throw hamburgers?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

ponderings collection 27
 
 
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

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