fish joke list 05
What kind of money do fishermen make?
Net profits!
What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand?
Birdsthigh fish fingers!
What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)
What kind of fish goes well with ice-cream?
Jellyfish!
What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?
'Your plaice or mine'!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the 'Kelp-wanted' adds!
Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales!
Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear?
Because they have electric 'eels!
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!
To whom do fish go to borrow money?
The loan shark!
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Net profits!
What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand?
Birdsthigh fish fingers!
What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)
What kind of fish goes well with ice-cream?
Jellyfish!
What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?
'Your plaice or mine'!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the 'Kelp-wanted' adds!
Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales!
Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear?
Because they have electric 'eels!
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!
To whom do fish go to borrow money?
The loan shark!
farm joke list 05
What is a cow's favorite TV show?
Dr Moo!
Why was the farmer hopping mad?
Because someone had trodden on his corn!
What would happen if bulls could fly?
You would have to carry an umbrella all the time and beef would go up!
What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud?
A sheep that's under the weather!
Why do cows like being told jokes?
Because they like being amoosed!
What goes 'peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang'?
A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons!
What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?
A groundhog!
How do you take a pig to hospital?
By hambulance!
What do you call a joke book for chickens?
A yolk book!
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Dr Moo!
Why was the farmer hopping mad?
Because someone had trodden on his corn!
What would happen if bulls could fly?
You would have to carry an umbrella all the time and beef would go up!
What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud?
A sheep that's under the weather!
Why do cows like being told jokes?
Because they like being amoosed!
What goes 'peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang'?
A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons!
What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?
A groundhog!
How do you take a pig to hospital?
By hambulance!
What do you call a joke book for chickens?
A yolk book!
mosquito jokes
How do you know if you have a tough mosquito?
You slap him and he slaps you back!
What is the most religious insect?
A mosque-ito!
What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code?
A morese-quito!
What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
Try sewing buttons on a mosquito!
What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?
The Masked-quito!
What has antlers and sucks blood?
A moose-quito!
What is a mosquito's favorite sport?
Skin-diving!
What's the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito?
A mosquito drops off you when you die!
Why are mosquitos religious?
They prey on you!
Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?
To improve his bite!
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You slap him and he slaps you back!
What is the most religious insect?
A mosque-ito!
What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code?
A morese-quito!
What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
Try sewing buttons on a mosquito!
What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?
The Masked-quito!
What has antlers and sucks blood?
A moose-quito!
What is a mosquito's favorite sport?
Skin-diving!
What's the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito?
A mosquito drops off you when you die!
Why are mosquitos religious?
They prey on you!
Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?
To improve his bite!
slug jokes
What did the slug say to the other who had hit him and run off?
I'll get you next slime!
What was the snail doing on the highway?
About one mile a day!
What is the definition of a slug?
A snail with a housing problem!
What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall?
How slime flies!
How do you know your kitchen floor is dirty?
The slugs leave a trail on the floor that reads "clean me"!
What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out!
What is the difference between school dinners and a pile of slugs?
School dinners come on a plate!
How do snails get their shells so shiny?
They use snail varnish!
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of giants fingers!
Why is the snail the strongest animal?
Because he carries a house on his back!
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I'll get you next slime!
What was the snail doing on the highway?
About one mile a day!
What is the definition of a slug?
A snail with a housing problem!
What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall?
How slime flies!
How do you know your kitchen floor is dirty?
The slugs leave a trail on the floor that reads "clean me"!
What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out!
What is the difference between school dinners and a pile of slugs?
School dinners come on a plate!
How do snails get their shells so shiny?
They use snail varnish!
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of giants fingers!
Why is the snail the strongest animal?
Because he carries a house on his back!
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