animal jokes for kids jokes

Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet?
He wrecked three cars, a bus and two fire engines!

Why do elephants eat raw food?
Because they don't know how to cook!

Why did the elephant eat the candle?
For light refreshment!

How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert?
You get very lumpy ice cream!

What kind of elephants live in Antartica?
Cold ones!

How do you fit five elephants into a car?
Two in the front, two in the back and the other in the glove compartment!

How does an elephant get out of a small car?
The same way that he got in!

Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they would look silly carrying suitcases!

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
Because of all the cheetahs!

What do you call a elephant that never washes?
A smellyphant!

Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant?"
Pupil:"You don't have to find them, they're too big to lose!"

What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear?
Anything you want as he can't hear you!

Teacher:"To which family does the elephant belong?"
Pupil:"I don't know, nobody I know owns one!"

How do you spell elephant?
E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t
"That's not how the dictionary spells it"
"You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it!"

Teacher: "Name six wild animals"
Pupil:"Four elephants and two lions!"

What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?
Annette!

Bill: "My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an elephant."?
Bert: "Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder.." Why do elephants do well in school?
Because they have a lot of grey matter!

Where do ants go to eat?
At a restaurant!

What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Antteneye!

What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian!

What kind of ants are very learned?
Pedants!

What do you call a smart ant?
Elegant!

What do you call an ant who can't play the piano?
Discordant!

What kind of ant is good at maths?
An accountant!

How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics?
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten ants!

Q: What did the confused bee say?
A: To bee or not to bee!

Q: What's black, yellow and covered in blackberries?
A: A bramble bee!

Q: What do bees do if they want to use public transport?
A: Wait at a buzz stop!

Q: What is the bees favorite film?
A: The Sting!

Q: What goes hum-choo, hum choo?
A: A bee with a cold!

Q: What's a bee-line?
A: The shortest distance between two buzz-stops!

Q: What is a baby bee?
A: A little humbug!

Q: What do bees chew?
A: Bumble gum!

Q: What does a bee say before it stings you?
A: This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you!

Q: What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry?
A: An aero-drone!