fish joke list 04
What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?
A flat fish!
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!
Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!
What's the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!
How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!
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A flat fish!
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!
Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!
What's the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!
How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!
cat joke list 09
Q: What does a lion brush his mane with?
A: A catacomb!
Q: What noise does a cat make going down the highway?
A: Miaooooooooooooooooooow!
Q: What do you get if cross a cat with a canary?
A: Shredded tweet!
Q: Why do tomcats fight?
A: Because they like raising a stink!
Q: Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit?
A: They are both ginger nuts!
Q: What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?
A: A catameringue!
Q: On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
A: A caterpillar!
Q: What do you get if cross a Tomcat with a Pekingese?
A: A Peking Tom!
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A: A catacomb!
Q: What noise does a cat make going down the highway?
A: Miaooooooooooooooooooow!
Q: What do you get if cross a cat with a canary?
A: Shredded tweet!
Q: Why do tomcats fight?
A: Because they like raising a stink!
Q: Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit?
A: They are both ginger nuts!
Q: What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?
A: A catameringue!
Q: On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
A: A caterpillar!
Q: What do you get if cross a Tomcat with a Pekingese?
A: A Peking Tom!
elephant jokes 02
What' s big and grey with horns?
An elephant marching band!
What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside?
An elephant disguised as a banana!
What's big, grey and flies straight up?
An elecopter!
What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?
A get wellephant!
What's grey and never needs ironing?
A drip dry elephant!
What's big and grey and red?
A sunburnt elephant!
What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?
"Pack your trunk and clear out!"
How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
Take all the matches out first!
What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?
An elephant holding its breath!
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An elephant marching band!
What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside?
An elephant disguised as a banana!
What's big, grey and flies straight up?
An elecopter!
What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?
A get wellephant!
What's grey and never needs ironing?
A drip dry elephant!
What's big and grey and red?
A sunburnt elephant!
What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?
"Pack your trunk and clear out!"
How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
Take all the matches out first!
What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?
An elephant holding its breath!
fish joke list 03
Where are most fish found?
Between the head and the tail!
What kind of fish will help you hear better?
A herring aid!
What do fish sing to each other?
Salmon-chanted evening!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
Monkfish!
What bit of fish doesn't make sense?
The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!
What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
A fish tank!
What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?
Tsardines!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
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Between the head and the tail!
What kind of fish will help you hear better?
A herring aid!
What do fish sing to each other?
Salmon-chanted evening!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
Monkfish!
What bit of fish doesn't make sense?
The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!
What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
A fish tank!
What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?
Tsardines!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
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