animal jokes for kids jokes

Q: What is the most breathless thing on television?
A: The Pink Panter Show!

Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A: A terrified postman!

Q: When is a lion not a lion?
A: When he turns into his cage!

Q: What do cat actors say on stage?
A: Tabby or not tabby!

Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
A: I'm paw!

Q: What do you call a lioin who has eaten your mother's sister?
A: An aunt-eater!

Q: What do tigers wear in bed?
A: Stripey pyjamas!

Q: Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
A: Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!

What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?
Time to fix the fence!

What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet?
An elephant with an umbrella!

What' s grey with red spots?
An elephant with the measles!

Why does an elephant wear sneakers?
So that he can sneak up on mice!

What's big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera!

What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour?
A jet propelled elephant!

Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken was having a day off!

What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Lost!

Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up!

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time?
Cross mouse cards!

What's the hardest part of milking a mouse?
Getting it to fit over a bucket!

Hickory hickory dock.
The mouse ran up the clock
The clock struck one
But the rest got away with minor injuries

What do you call a mouse that can pick up an elephant?
Sir!

What do mice do when they're at home?
Mousework!

What have 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and can't see?
Three blind mice!

What is small, furry and smells like bacon?
A hamster!

When should a mouse carry an umbrella?
When it's raining cats and dogs!

What's the definition of a narrow squeak?
A thin mouse!

Is there a mouse in the house?
No, but there's a moose on the loose!

Where do ants go to eat?
At a restaurant!

What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Antteneye!

What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian!

What kind of ants are very learned?
Pedants!

What do you call a smart ant?
Elegant!

What do you call an ant who can't play the piano?
Discordant!

What kind of ant is good at maths?
An accountant!

How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics?
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten ants!