animal jokes for kids jokes

What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?
Time to fix the fence!

What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet?
An elephant with an umbrella!

What' s grey with red spots?
An elephant with the measles!

Why does an elephant wear sneakers?
So that he can sneak up on mice!

What's big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera!

What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour?
A jet propelled elephant!

Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken was having a day off!

What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Lost!

Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up!

What' s big and grey with horns?
An elephant marching band!

What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside?
An elephant disguised as a banana!

What's big, grey and flies straight up?
An elecopter!

What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?
A get wellephant!

What's grey and never needs ironing?
A drip dry elephant!

What's big and grey and red?
A sunburnt elephant!

What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?
"Pack your trunk and clear out!"

How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
Take all the matches out first!

What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?
An elephant holding its breath!

What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?
A flat fish!

What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!

Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!

What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!

What's the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!

What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!

How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!

Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!

Q: What does a lion brush his mane with?
A: A catacomb!

Q: What noise does a cat make going down the highway?
A: Miaooooooooooooooooooow!

Q: What do you get if cross a cat with a canary?
A: Shredded tweet!

Q: Why do tomcats fight?
A: Because they like raising a stink!

Q: Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit?
A: They are both ginger nuts!

Q: What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?
A: A catameringue!

Q: On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
A: A caterpillar!

Q: What do you get if cross a Tomcat with a Pekingese?
A: A Peking Tom!