elephant jokes
What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?
Time to fix the fence!
What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet?
An elephant with an umbrella!
What' s grey with red spots?
An elephant with the measles!
Why does an elephant wear sneakers?
So that he can sneak up on mice!
What's big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera!
What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour?
A jet propelled elephant!
Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken was having a day off!
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Lost!
Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up!
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Time to fix the fence!
What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet?
An elephant with an umbrella!
What' s grey with red spots?
An elephant with the measles!
Why does an elephant wear sneakers?
So that he can sneak up on mice!
What's big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera!
What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour?
A jet propelled elephant!
Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken was having a day off!
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Lost!
Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up!
elephant jokes 02
What' s big and grey with horns?
An elephant marching band!
What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside?
An elephant disguised as a banana!
What's big, grey and flies straight up?
An elecopter!
What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?
A get wellephant!
What's grey and never needs ironing?
A drip dry elephant!
What's big and grey and red?
A sunburnt elephant!
What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?
"Pack your trunk and clear out!"
How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
Take all the matches out first!
What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?
An elephant holding its breath!
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An elephant marching band!
What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside?
An elephant disguised as a banana!
What's big, grey and flies straight up?
An elecopter!
What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?
A get wellephant!
What's grey and never needs ironing?
A drip dry elephant!
What's big and grey and red?
A sunburnt elephant!
What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?
"Pack your trunk and clear out!"
How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
Take all the matches out first!
What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?
An elephant holding its breath!
elephant jokes 13
Why did the elephant walk on two feet?
To give the ants a chance!
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they've no pockets to put things in!
Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain?
To stop getting wet!
What do elephants do in the evenings?
Watch elevision!
How to elephants talk to each other?
By 'elephone!
What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognize them!
When do elephants have 8 feet?
When there are two of them!
What did the elephant say to the famous detective?
It's ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock!
Zoo Keeper:"I've lost one of my elephants"
Other Zoo Keeper:"Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"
Zoo Keeper:"Don't be silly, he can't read!"
What do you do if you find a blue elephant?
Try and cheer him up!
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To give the ants a chance!
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they've no pockets to put things in!
Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain?
To stop getting wet!
What do elephants do in the evenings?
Watch elevision!
How to elephants talk to each other?
By 'elephone!
What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognize them!
When do elephants have 8 feet?
When there are two of them!
What did the elephant say to the famous detective?
It's ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock!
Zoo Keeper:"I've lost one of my elephants"
Other Zoo Keeper:"Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"
Zoo Keeper:"Don't be silly, he can't read!"
What do you do if you find a blue elephant?
Try and cheer him up!
fish joke list 04
What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?
A flat fish!
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!
Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!
What's the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!
How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!
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A flat fish!
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!
Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!
What's the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!
How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!
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