animal jokes for kids jokes

How do you hire an elephant?
Stand it on four bricks!

What is the easy way to get a wild elephant?
Get a tame one and annoy it!

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
Here come the elephants!

Why is an elephant braver than a hen?
Because the elephant isn't chicken!

What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Raining elephants!

How are elephants and hippopotanuses alike?
Neither can play basketball!

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?
Take away it's credit cards!

What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed?
Out of the way!

How do you raise a baby elephant?
With a fork lift truck!

What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants?
On television!

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time?
Cross mouse cards!

What's the hardest part of milking a mouse?
Getting it to fit over a bucket!

Hickory hickory dock.
The mouse ran up the clock
The clock struck one
But the rest got away with minor injuries

What do you call a mouse that can pick up an elephant?
Sir!

What do mice do when they're at home?
Mousework!

What have 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and can't see?
Three blind mice!

What is small, furry and smells like bacon?
A hamster!

When should a mouse carry an umbrella?
When it's raining cats and dogs!

What's the definition of a narrow squeak?
A thin mouse!

Is there a mouse in the house?
No, but there's a moose on the loose!

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out forest fires!

Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!

What is a pigs favorite ballet?
Swine Lake!

What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog?
Pooched eggs!

How do you stop a rooser crowing on Sunday?
Eat him on Saturday!

Why did the foal cough?
Because he was a little horse!

What is the opposite of cock-a doodle-doo?
Cock-a-doodle-don't!

What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour?
Leave it inside the cow!

Where do milkshakes come from?
Excited cows!

Q: How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold?
A: He has cat-arrh!

Q: What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!

Q: How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
A: They never cry over spilt milk!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
A: An animal that puts you out a night!

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo?
A: A stripey jumper!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A: A sourpuss!

Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes!