animal jokes for kids jokes

Why did the spider buy a car?
So he could take it out for a spin!

What does a spider do when he gets angry?
He goes up the wall!

What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?
If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!

Why are spiders good swimmers?
They have webbed feet!

How do you spot a modern spider?
He doesn't have a web he had a website!

What are spiders webs good for?
Spiders!

What kind of doctors are like spiders?
Spin doctors!

What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant?
I'm not sure, but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses!

What did the spider say to the fly?
We're getting married do you want to come to the webbing?
What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?
It became a daddy short legs!

Q: Who is the bees favorite singer?
A: Sting!

Q: Who is the bees favorite pop group?
A: The bee gees!

Q: What do you get if you cross a bee with a skunk?
A: An animal that stinks and stings!

Q: What does a queen bee do when she burps?
A: Issues a royal pardon!

Q: How does a queen bee get around her hive?
A: She's throne!

Q: What does the bee Santa Claus say?
A: Ho hum hum!

Q: Why do bees hum?
A: Because they've forgotten the words!

Q: What kind of bees hum and drop things?
A: A fumble bee!

Q: What did the bee say to the flower?
A: Hello honey!

Q: What's a bees favorite flower?
A: A bee-gonias!

Q: What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
A: They go on peck-nics!

Q: What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
A: Coop-cakes!

Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
A: An eggroll!

Q: What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg?
A: The bombshell!

Q: What does an alarm cluck say?
A: "Tick-tock-a-doodle-doo!"

Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A: Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!

Q: How long do chickens work?
A: Around the cluck!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken!

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To cockadoodle dooo something!

What is a grasshopper?
An insect on a pogo stick!

What do you call a grasshopper with no legs?
A grasshover!

Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?
Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can't play grasshopper!

What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?
A grasshopper with hiccups!

What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?
Chimney Cricket!