animal jokes for kids jokes

What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
Sir!

What can an elephant with a machine gun call you?
Anything he likes!

What do you call an elephant that's small and pink?
A failure!

What is stronger an elephant or a snail?
A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk!

What do you give an elephant with big feet?
Plenty of room!

Tarzan was tired when he came home.
"What have you been doing", asked Jane.
"Chasing a herd of elephants on vines"
"Really?", said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground!"

What would happen if an elephant sat in front of you at the movies?
You would miss most of the film!

What steps would you take if you were being chased by an elephant?
Big ones!

What do you find in an elephants graveyard?
Elephantoms!

Why do elephants have wrinkly ankes?
Because their shoes are too tight!

Q: What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A: A catastrophe!

Q: Who was the most powerful cat in China?
A: Chairman Miaow!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A: A cat-a-logue!

Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
A: An octopuss!

Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

Q: When the cat's away.....?
A: The house smells better!

Q: Why was the cat so small?
A: Because it only ate condensed milk!

Q: Why did the cat cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off!

What do you get if you all sit under a cow?
A pat on the head!

What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper!

What do you call a pig that took a plane?
Swine flu!

What kind of doctor treats ducks?
A quack!

What did the well mannered sheep say to his friend at the field gate?
Afer ewe!

Why did the ram fall over the cliff?
He didn't see the ewe turn!

What do cows like to dance to?
Any kind of moosic you like!

Where do sheep get shorn?
At the baa baas!

What do you get if you cross a steer with a tadpole?
A bullfrog!

Why did the dirty chicken cross the road?
For some fowl purpose!

How do sheep keep warm in winter?
Central bleating!

How do chickens dance?
Chick to chick!

What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo-cluck!

What do you call a bull who tells jokes?
Laugh-a-bull!

What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
The milky baa kid!

What is a duck's favorite dance?
The quackstep!

Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot!

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper!