bird joke list 05
Q: What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A: A bird who knocks before delivering its message!
Q: What do you call a very rude bird?
A: A mockingbird!
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With it's sparrowchute!
Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody Wood Pickle!
Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!
Q: What do you call a Scottish parrot?
A: A Macaw!
Q: What do you call a bird that lives underground?
A: A mynah bird!
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A great walkie-talkie!
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A: A bird who knocks before delivering its message!
Q: What do you call a very rude bird?
A: A mockingbird!
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With it's sparrowchute!
Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody Wood Pickle!
Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!
Q: What do you call a Scottish parrot?
A: A Macaw!
Q: What do you call a bird that lives underground?
A: A mynah bird!
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A great walkie-talkie!
centipede jokes
Why was the centipede late?
Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother!
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie talkie!
What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with chilblains!
What has 50 legs but cant walk?
Half a centipede!
What do you call a guard with 100 legs?
A sentrypede!
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken?
Enough drumsticks to feed an army!
What did one centipede say to the other centipede?
You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs ....!
Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team?
He took too long to put his boots on!
What is worse than an alligator with toothache?
A centipede with athlete's foot!
What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk?
A centipede with a wooden leg!
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Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother!
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie talkie!
What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with chilblains!
What has 50 legs but cant walk?
Half a centipede!
What do you call a guard with 100 legs?
A sentrypede!
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken?
Enough drumsticks to feed an army!
What did one centipede say to the other centipede?
You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs ....!
Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team?
He took too long to put his boots on!
What is worse than an alligator with toothache?
A centipede with athlete's foot!
What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk?
A centipede with a wooden leg!
dog joke list 05
Q: Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat?
A: Cats can't drive!
Q: What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road?
A: A mutt in a rut!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole?
A: A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree!
Q: What do you call a happy Lassie?
A: A jolly collie!
Q: What do you call a nutty dog in Australia?
A: A dingo-ling!
Q: What dog loves to take bubble baths?
A: A shampoodle!
Q: How do you catch a runaway dog?
A: Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone!
Q: What dogs are best for sending telegrams?
A: Wire haired terriers!!
Q: What kind of dog does a vampire prefer?
A: Any kind of bloodhound!
Q: What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers?
A: A bud hound!
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A: Cats can't drive!
Q: What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road?
A: A mutt in a rut!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole?
A: A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree!
Q: What do you call a happy Lassie?
A: A jolly collie!
Q: What do you call a nutty dog in Australia?
A: A dingo-ling!
Q: What dog loves to take bubble baths?
A: A shampoodle!
Q: How do you catch a runaway dog?
A: Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone!
Q: What dogs are best for sending telegrams?
A: Wire haired terriers!!
Q: What kind of dog does a vampire prefer?
A: Any kind of bloodhound!
Q: What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers?
A: A bud hound!
dog joke list 08
Q: What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off of the table?
A: He gets splinters in his mouth!
Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?
A: A bull dog!
Q: What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?
A: A guard dog!
Q: What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater?
A: A plain clothes police dog!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a skunk?
A: Rid of the dog!
Q: What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller?
A: A computer with a lot of bites!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?
A: A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep?
A: A sheep that can round itself up!
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A: He gets splinters in his mouth!
Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?
A: A bull dog!
Q: What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?
A: A guard dog!
Q: What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater?
A: A plain clothes police dog!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a skunk?
A: Rid of the dog!
Q: What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller?
A: A computer with a lot of bites!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?
A: A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep?
A: A sheep that can round itself up!
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