animal jokes for kids jokes

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
So he could hide in the cherry tree!

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!

What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days?
One is a weak one and the other one week!

What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep?
Trunkquilizers!

Why are elephants grey?
So you can tell them from flamingos!

Elephant Keeper: "My Elephant isn't well, do you know a good animal doctor?
" Zoo Keeper: "No, all the doctors I know are people!"

Why do elephants scratch themselves?
Because they're the only ones who know where they itch!

How does an elephant get down from a tree?
He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn!

Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?
Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box!

How do you know that peanuts are fattening?
Have you ever seen a skinny elephant?

Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet?
He wrecked three cars, a bus and two fire engines!

Why do elephants eat raw food?
Because they don't know how to cook!

Why did the elephant eat the candle?
For light refreshment!

How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert?
You get very lumpy ice cream!

What kind of elephants live in Antartica?
Cold ones!

How do you fit five elephants into a car?
Two in the front, two in the back and the other in the glove compartment!

How does an elephant get out of a small car?
The same way that he got in!

Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they would look silly carrying suitcases!

Q: What do parrots eat?
A: Polyfilla!

Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!

Q: What bird tastes just like butter?
A: A stork!

Q: What's another name for a clever duck?
A: A wise quacker!

Q: Which bird is always out of breath?
A: A puffin!

Q: What's got six legs and can fly long distances?
A: Three swallows!

Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!

Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk you ear off!

Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers!

Q: Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
A: Fry-day!

Q: What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg?
A: It eggs-plodes!

Q: Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
A: He wasn't what he was cracked up to be!

Q: Is chicken soup good for your health?
A: Not if you're the chicken!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side!

Q: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
A: "You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!"

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
A: Because he was a dirty double-crosser!

Q: Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn't have enough guts!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide!