animal jokes for kids jokes

What do you get if you all sit under a cow?
A pat on the head!

What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper!

What do you call a pig that took a plane?
Swine flu!

What kind of doctor treats ducks?
A quack!

What did the well mannered sheep say to his friend at the field gate?
Afer ewe!

Why did the ram fall over the cliff?
He didn't see the ewe turn!

What do cows like to dance to?
Any kind of moosic you like!

Where do sheep get shorn?
At the baa baas!

What do you get if you cross a steer with a tadpole?
A bullfrog!

Why did the dirty chicken cross the road?
For some fowl purpose!

How do sheep keep warm in winter?
Central bleating!

How do chickens dance?
Chick to chick!

What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo-cluck!

What do you call a bull who tells jokes?
Laugh-a-bull!

What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
The milky baa kid!

What is a duck's favorite dance?
The quackstep!

Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot!

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper!

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde?
A: A jet setter!

Q: What do dogs have that no other animal has?
A: Puppy dogs!

Q: Why did the dachshund bite the woman's ankle?
A: Because he was short and couldn't reach any higher!

Q: Where do Eskimos train their dogs?
A: In the mush room!

Q: Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Because frost bites!

Q: What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?
A: An animal that barks at low flying aircraft!

Q: What do you call an alcoholic dog?
A: A whino!

Q: What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
A: Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

Q: When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house?
A: When the door is open!

Q: Why don't dogs make good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet!

What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
Sir!

What can an elephant with a machine gun call you?
Anything he likes!

What do you call an elephant that's small and pink?
A failure!

What is stronger an elephant or a snail?
A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk!

What do you give an elephant with big feet?
Plenty of room!

Tarzan was tired when he came home.
"What have you been doing", asked Jane.
"Chasing a herd of elephants on vines"
"Really?", said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground!"

What would happen if an elephant sat in front of you at the movies?
You would miss most of the film!

What steps would you take if you were being chased by an elephant?
Big ones!

What do you find in an elephants graveyard?
Elephantoms!

Why do elephants have wrinkly ankes?
Because their shoes are too tight!