animal jokes for kids jokes

What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
Sir!

What can an elephant with a machine gun call you?
Anything he likes!

What do you call an elephant that's small and pink?
A failure!

What is stronger an elephant or a snail?
A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk!

What do you give an elephant with big feet?
Plenty of room!

Tarzan was tired when he came home.
"What have you been doing", asked Jane.
"Chasing a herd of elephants on vines"
"Really?", said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground!"

What would happen if an elephant sat in front of you at the movies?
You would miss most of the film!

What steps would you take if you were being chased by an elephant?
Big ones!

What do you find in an elephants graveyard?
Elephantoms!

Why do elephants have wrinkly ankes?
Because their shoes are too tight!

Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?
In a hog cabin!

What is the slowest racehorse in the world?
A clotheshorse!

Why do pigs never recover from illness?
Because you have to kill them before you cure them!

What do you call a pig who's been arrested for dangerous driving?
A road hog!

What do you call sheep that live together?
Pen friends!

What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit?
An egg!

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?
Udder nonsense!

What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
Use a cowculator!

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
'Dad, dad, look what marma-laid'!

What's a cows favorite vegetable?
A cowat!

What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!

What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!

Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!

What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!

What do you get if cross a mouse woth a packet of washing up powder?
Bubble and squeak!

What's a mouse's favorite record?
Please cheese me!

What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside?
A mouse sandwich!

What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse?
Sir!

How do mice celebrate when they move home?
With a mouse warming party!

Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves?
Mickey Moose!

What is the best advice to give to worm?
Sleep late!

What's the difference between a worm and an apple?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
!

What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!

Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they're wrigleys!

What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!

What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple?
Worm your way out of that one!

What happened to the glow worm who was squashed?
He was de-lighted!

What's a glow worms favorite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!

Why did the sparrow go to the library?
It was looking for bookworms!

What is life like for a wood worm?
Boring!