animal jokes for kids jokes

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animal jokes for kids


centipede jokes
 
 
Why was the centipede late?
Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother!

What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie talkie!

What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with chilblains!

What has 50 legs but cant walk?
Half a centipede!

What do you call a guard with 100 legs?
A sentrypede!

What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken?
Enough drumsticks to feed an army!

What did one centipede say to the other centipede?
You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs ....!

Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team?
He took too long to put his boots on!

What is worse than an alligator with toothache?
A centipede with athlete's foot!

What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk?
A centipede with a wooden leg!

dog joke list 06
 
 
Q: What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog?
A: Chump chops!

Q: How many seasons are there in a dogs life?
A: Just one, the moulting season!

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he still won't come!

Q: Why is it called a "litter" of puppies?
A: Because they mess up the whole house!

Q: How do you stop a dog smelling?
A: Put a peg on it's nose!

Q: What is the best time to take a Rottweiler for a walk?
A: Any times he wants to!

Q: When is a black dog not a black dog?
A: When it's a greyhound!

Q: How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon?
A: Melon-collie!

Q: What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?
A: Hush puppies!

Q: What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow?
A: Slush puppies!

elephant jokes 03
 
 
What' s grey, has four legs and jumps up and down?
An elephant on a trampoline!

What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds?
An elephant with hiccups!

What's grey and goes round and round?
An elephant in a washing machine!

What's grey and highly dangerous?
An elephant with a machine gun!

What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland?
The Loch Ness Elephant!

What's big and grey and has 16 wheels?
An elephant on roller skates!

What goes up slowly and comes down quickly?
An elephant in a lift!

What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
An elephant's shadow!

elephant jokes 05
 
 
Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
So he could hide in the cherry tree!

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!

What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days?
One is a weak one and the other one week!

What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep?
Trunkquilizers!

Why are elephants grey?
So you can tell them from flamingos!

Elephant Keeper: "My Elephant isn't well, do you know a good animal doctor?
" Zoo Keeper: "No, all the doctors I know are people!"

Why do elephants scratch themselves?
Because they're the only ones who know where they itch!

How does an elephant get down from a tree?
He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn!

Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?
Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box!

How do you know that peanuts are fattening?
Have you ever seen a skinny elephant?


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