bird joke list 02
Q: What do parrots eat?
A: Polyfilla!
Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!
Q: What bird tastes just like butter?
A: A stork!
Q: What's another name for a clever duck?
A: A wise quacker!
Q: Which bird is always out of breath?
A: A puffin!
Q: What's got six legs and can fly long distances?
A: Three swallows!
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk you ear off!
Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers!
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A: Polyfilla!
Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!
Q: What bird tastes just like butter?
A: A stork!
Q: What's another name for a clever duck?
A: A wise quacker!
Q: Which bird is always out of breath?
A: A puffin!
Q: What's got six legs and can fly long distances?
A: Three swallows!
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk you ear off!
Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers!
cat jokes
Q: How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold?
A: He has cat-arrh!
Q: What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!
Q: How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
A: They never cry over spilt milk!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
A: An animal that puts you out a night!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo?
A: A stripey jumper!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A: A sourpuss!
Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes!
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A: He has cat-arrh!
Q: What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!
Q: How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
A: They never cry over spilt milk!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
A: An animal that puts you out a night!
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo?
A: A stripey jumper!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A: A sourpuss!
Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes!
cat joke list 08
Q: What is the most breathless thing on television?
A: The Pink Panter Show!
Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A: A terrified postman!
Q: When is a lion not a lion?
A: When he turns into his cage!
Q: What do cat actors say on stage?
A: Tabby or not tabby!
Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
A: I'm paw!
Q: What do you call a lioin who has eaten your mother's sister?
A: An aunt-eater!
Q: What do tigers wear in bed?
A: Stripey pyjamas!
Q: Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
A: Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!
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A: The Pink Panter Show!
Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A: A terrified postman!
Q: When is a lion not a lion?
A: When he turns into his cage!
Q: What do cat actors say on stage?
A: Tabby or not tabby!
Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
A: I'm paw!
Q: What do you call a lioin who has eaten your mother's sister?
A: An aunt-eater!
Q: What do tigers wear in bed?
A: Stripey pyjamas!
Q: Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
A: Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!
centipede jokes
Why was the centipede late?
Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother!
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie talkie!
What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with chilblains!
What has 50 legs but cant walk?
Half a centipede!
What do you call a guard with 100 legs?
A sentrypede!
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken?
Enough drumsticks to feed an army!
What did one centipede say to the other centipede?
You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs ....!
Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team?
He took too long to put his boots on!
What is worse than an alligator with toothache?
A centipede with athlete's foot!
What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk?
A centipede with a wooden leg!
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Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother!
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie talkie!
What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with chilblains!
What has 50 legs but cant walk?
Half a centipede!
What do you call a guard with 100 legs?
A sentrypede!
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken?
Enough drumsticks to feed an army!
What did one centipede say to the other centipede?
You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs ....!
Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team?
He took too long to put his boots on!
What is worse than an alligator with toothache?
A centipede with athlete's foot!
What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk?
A centipede with a wooden leg!
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