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that's a woman's job
One day, Farmer Brown went behind his barn and found to his dismay that his son, Jeb, was jerking off. He vowed to his son that he was going to help him find a wife, so he would not have to be doing this.

Sure enough, the father was able to find a suitable bride just right down the road and the couple was married shortly thereafter. Six weeks later the farmer was again going behind the barn and caught his son vigorously jerking off. The farmer went berzerk.

"Why are you still doing this, why aren't you with your wife?"

"Aw Paw," said the son, "Her little old arm gets so tired."

big-busted/small-busted women
Big Busted Women
-can get a taxi on the worst days
-have a neat place to carry spare change
-have always been the center of the arts (art)
-make jogging a spectator sport
-can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
-have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)
-usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
-can always carry a little extra
-always float better
-know where to look first for lost earrings
-rarely lack for a slow dance partner
-have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner

Small Busted Women
-don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public
-always look younger
-find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap
-can always see their toes and shoes
-can sleep on their stomachs
-have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars
-know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts
-know that everything more than a handful is wasted
-can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle
-can take an aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out

ten things to do in a public bathroom
1.Come out of the stall with wet hands.

2.Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, 'Darn, I almost made it!'

3.Wash you hair and dry it in the hand dryer.

4.Wear papertowels wrapped around your head and pretend you're Erykah Badu.

5.Write on the wall of a women's bathroom 'Tom was here.' In the men's bathroom write 'Michael Jackson was here.'

6.Ask a person in the stall next to you for a tampon.

7.Roll a roll of toilet paper all the way down the row of stalls.

8.For women, stand in front of the toilet.

9.Scream 'Ohh it burns!' as you use the bathroom.

10.Lock the door from the inside, sound frustrated that you can't get out, then crawl under the door, getting as dirty as possible and complain to the manager that the door is faulty.
an odd tale
There once was a boy who named Odd.

A lot of people would make fun of him because of his name, so he decided that when he passed-way he would leave his gravestone blank.

A couple of years later, he died, and next to his buried body was placed a blank gravestone.

Now when people pass by burial site they point and say “That's Odd”

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