Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » jokes 462

Whatever


kilts are awesome
 
 
Why do scotsmen wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away!

general failure
 
 
Who is this General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?
let the trucker sleep
 
 
After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab.
"Can you tell me the time, please?" asks a jogger.

"Yeah, it's 4:30," answers the trucker. He falls asleep again, but he is awoken again by another jogger who wants to know the time. "It's 4:40!" yells the trucker. Deciding to really try to sleep a little, he writes on a piece of paper: I DON'T KNOW THE TIME. He sticks the paper in his windshield.

But he is awoken again. 'It's 5:25," says another jogger.

speeding old chicks
 
 
A state trooper spied a car puttering along at 22 MPH. So he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over. Approaching the car, he noticed that five old ladies were inside, and they looked wide-eyed and terribly pale.

The driver pleaded with him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous."

"I beg to differ, sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly: twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman said.

The State Police officer, chuckling, explained to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken," the officer asked.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."


Page 463 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»