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best way of skipping out on a check
 
 
Bring a sock puppet with you to the restaurant. When asked for your order, consult the sock and talk to the sock throughout the meal. When you get the check, order with the sock about who should pay. Then say, “Fine! You pay,” throw the sock on the table and walk out.
an orange parrot, of course
 
 
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.
old lady & the dollar
 
 

A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park. Her mother was touched by the child's kindness and gave her the required sum.

"There you are, my dear," said the mother. "But, tell me, isn't the lady able to work any more?"

"Oh yes," came the reply. "She sells candy."

jingle balls ii
 
 
Why did Santa have to go to the hospital?

Because he carried his sack over his shoulders one too many times!


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