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up in arms over this religion thing
What do you call an angry religous group ?

A pissedapalion!
the mushroom
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties?

'Cause he's a fungi!
top 10 ways to insult the elderly
1: You tell them that you went to the museum, saw dinosaur bones, and thought of them.

2: For their birthday, you offer to help them blow out the candles.

3: On their birthday, you tell the fire department that if they see a large fire, don't water it down, because soggy cake is no good.

4: Explain to them that the reason that no one can see the Christmas tree is because you put on every ornament that they got in their life.

5: Ask them if they got Columbus' autograph.

6: Tell them that the reason that they got no birthday gifts was that everyone had to pitch in to buy the candles.

7: Ask them if the Disney hit Hercules is telling the truth.

8: Ask them in what order God REALLY made the Earth.

9: Ask them if they helped God write the Bible.

10: Ask them if they personally knew Adam and Eve.
one day, a mechanic was working late...
One day, a mechanic was working late under a car and some brake fluid dripped into his mouth. "Wow! That stuff isn't too bad tasting," he thought. The next day, he told his buddy about tasting the brake fluid, and that he was drinking a cup with lunch.

His friend was a little concerned but didn't say anything. The next day, he decided to drink a pint. The day after that, he was up to a full bottle's worth. His friend was now really worried. 'You know, that brake fluid is poison and really bad for you. You better stop drinking that stuff!"

"Hey, no problem," he said. "I can stop any time!"

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