Whatever jokes

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jungle poker
 
 
Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the jungle?
Because there were too many cheetahs.
the leaning tower of pisa
 
 
Did you hear the Italian Government is going to put a clock on the Leaning Tower of Pisa? They figure what good is the inclination, if you don't have the time.
doctors vs. lawyers
 
 
Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys.

The physician kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the attorney in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a Coke."

"No problem," said the physician, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, one of the attorneys picked up the physician shoe and spat in it.

When he returned with the Coke, the other attorney said, "That looks good, think I'll have one too."

Again, the physician obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other attorney picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The Physician returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Physician slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" he asked.

"This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in Cokes?"

suspenders
 
 
Two men leave a store. One man walks to his Corvette, the other walks out to his moped. The guy with the moped admires the Corvette and the owner lets him take a look at it. The he gets on his moped, the other guy gets into his 'Vette, and they both leave the parking lot. The guy in the Corvette decides to show off and race out of the parking lot. He stops at a stop light. Enjoying his music he looks out the window and sees the guy on the moped flying by at about 80 mph! He can't believe a moped can go that fast! So he races up to the guy on the moped and passes him again to show how fast he can go. At the next stop light, the guy on the moped speeds by once more. Finally the Corvette and moped stop at the same stop light.

'How the hell did you go past me so fast like that!?' the guy in the Corvette asks.

The guy on the moped, all flushed and pale, looks at the man and says, 'MY SUSPENDERS ARE CAUGHT IN YOUR CAR DOOR!!!!'

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