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jesus gives speech
 
 
Jesus was standing on a hill talking to his people.
'He who hath not sinned, cast the first stone." Just then a stone came flying from the back of the crowd and hit him hard on the head.
'Ouch, Mom! I hate when you do that!"
arkansas toothbrush
 
 
How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck?

If it was invented by anyone else they would have called it a "teethbrush".

hunters
 
 
Two hunters are out on a long day in the forest, when one of them has to take a dump. "Go in the bushes," says the other hunter. "But what'll I use to wipe with?" "Use a dollar bill. That's what I do." So the other hunter goes into the bushes, and comes back with crap all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill so I used four quarters."
the chinese workman
 
 
A building contracter hires an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Chinaman. He gathers them all in his office and tells each of them their jobs. The Englishman to shovel a pile of sand. The Irishman has to take the sand in the wheelbarrow to the truck. The Chinaman is in charge of supplies.

The boss comes back two hours later and he sees the Englishman and the Irishman having a cup of tea. 'So have you done the work then?' he asks.

The workers both shake their heads and tell him that the Chinaman didn't give them a shovel or a wheelbarrow. The boss is infuriated by this and asks the workers if they have seen the Chinaman, they tell him they thought they saw him going toward the truck. So the boss sets out towards the truck and just as he is getting close to the truck the Chinaman jumps out from behind a wall and yells, "SUPPLIES!"


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