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me talk pretty
 
 
Three men, an American, an Arab, and a Chinese man are in a 7-eleven when a robber storms in. The robber points his gun at the American and says, If you think of a sentence with pink, green and yellow in it, I won't kill you. The American, mumbles something and gives up so the robber shoots him. The Arab doesn't know what to say and also gets shot. The robber then looks at the Chinese man who frantically says, "My phone go 'green, green', I 'pink' it up, and I say, 'yellow, yellow'"
girls just wanna have fun
 
 
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were walking on the beach when they found a magic lamp. They began rubbing it and genie came out and said, "You each may have one wish." The red head thought for a while and said, "Even though blondes are stupid, they have so more fun, I wish to be blonde." and she was turned blonde. The brunette agreed, "That's true, I really want to have more fun too, even though I'll be dumber, I wish to be blonde" and she became blonde also. The blonde looks at the two other blondes and said, "I just don't think I have enough fun. I don't care if I becomer even more dumb, make me more blonde, woo!" So the genie granted her wish and made her a man.
don't leave 'em hanging
 
 
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.

When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

aggie accident
 
 
There was an Aggie, Longhorn, and a Red Raider who were out hunting. The Aggie brought back a big buck.

'How did you get that?' they all asked.

'I saw the tracks, followed the tracks, and 'boom' I shot a buck.' Then the longhorn brought back an elephant.

'How did you get that?" they all asked.

'I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and 'boom' I shot an elephant.' Then the Red Raider came back all beat up.

"What happened?" they all asked.

"I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and 'boom' I got hit by a train."


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