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baby boomers
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can?

A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.

Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?

A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
sixthings not to say at a funeral
1. I think the parking meter is running out, I'll just...

2. How can we be sure they didn't switched the coffin?

3. Don't worry, in one yaer we'll laugh at this!

4. You know, your wife owed me 50$, I don't suppose you could...?


6. To the next of kin: So I guess you're not busy tommorow, could you help me move some stuff out of my apartment?
world's toughest cowboy
Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous.

A night of tall tales commences.

The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."

The second chimes in, "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

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