Whatever jokes

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e.t.'s eyes wide shut
 
 
Why are E.T.'s eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill!

honeymoon
 
 
An elderly couple decided to celebrate their 50th anniversary in the same hotel and city where they spent their honeymoon. Before the act, he excused himself and went to loo and after a while came out laughing loudly.
'On our first night," the woman said, "you did the same thing and came out laughing. At the time, I was too embarrassed to ask what you were laughing about. Can you explain?"
'On that night while urinating, I made the roof wet. Today my shoes are wet."
krusty vs. the cannibals
 
 
Two cannibals were eating a clown.
One looked over at the other and asked, “Does this taste funny to you?”
top ten ways the bible is out of date
 
 
10) Who the hell Begets anymore?

9) Memo to Adam: Ditch the apples, try chocolate!

8) Saint Peter wouldn't do the actual judging -- he'd hire a temp.

7) Ten plagues and God never thought of daytime talk shows?

6) All this smiting and no one filed a suit against God?

5) “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy?” -- GO FORTY-NINERS!
4) Why did Moses spend all his time parting seas when there are all those great legs out there?

3) How can you trust someone who turns water into wine?

2) Satan provides free heating, work for everyone, never evicts you and doesn't give a damn about your credit rating. This is bad HOW?

1.) Out with “Into the ark, two by two,” in with Jerry Springer love triangles!

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