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uncle ted's special skill
 
 
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted.

Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!"

His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible."

Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?"

Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!"

Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!"

Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."

a little boy wrote to santa ...
 
 
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."

Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

vedil worshipper
 
 
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa.

sexually exhausted jock
 
 
At a high school an English teacher is busy with work as a student approaches the teacher and asks when the test final test will be. She tells the whole class and a smart-ass jock raises his hand.

"What if that day I just stayed home because I was sexually exahausted?'

'Well, I guess you'd just have to use your other hand to write with.'


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