Whatever jokes

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red and furry
What's red and furry and tackles people?

Tackle Me Elmo!
those lovely farmer's daughters
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, 'I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?'

"No," the farmer said.

The second beau came to the door and said, 'I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?'


The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. 'Hello, my name is Chuck.'

The farmer shot Chuck.

the homeless couple and the priest
This priest was driving to his church when he saw two people bending over in the grass. He decided to see why. He walked over to them and asked what they were doing. The man said they were homeless and grass was the only thing they could eat. The priest said, 'You can eat over at the church.' The woman said, 'We have nine children -- will there be enough?' 'Oh yes, ' the priest replied, 'the grass is 2 1/2 inches taller over there.'
programmer guffaws
How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, that's a hardware problem!

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