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fords
 
 
Did you know, on a cool, still dark night, you can actually hear a FORD rust?
burning bush
 
 
Thousands of people flock to the annual Burning Man festival in The Black Rock Desert north of Reno, Nevada.

At this big hippie festival, people run around naked, drink and do drugs, or as George W. Bush likes to call it, get ready to run for President.

shoplifting
 
 
A man walks into a music store and wants to buy a good, old-fashioned vinyl record. He gets the record and is ready to check out when he discovers that he forgot his wallet. Instead of going out and getting his wallet, he decides to steal the record. So he sticks it down his pants.

Of course, the cashier spots him on the way out and says, "Hey! Is that a record in your pants?"

The man replies, "Well, it may not be a record but I haven't heard any complaints."

shoes
 
 
Never say anything about a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes - because then you are a mile away and you've got his shoes and you can say whatever the hell you want about him

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