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it's the big one - take cover!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

“It's all your fault!”
oldest couple ever
 
 
An old man and an old woman were sitting together on their front porch.
"You used to sit closer to me," said the woman. So the man moved closer.
"You used to put your arm around me." So the man put his arm around her.
"You used to nibble on my ear."
"Let me get my teeth."
the scientist and the frog
 
 
There once was a scientist who studied frogs. One day, the scientist put the frog on the ground and told it to jump. The frog jumped four feet.

So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with four feet, jumps four feet."

So the scientist cut off one of one of the frogs legs. The scientist told the frog to jump. Frog jumped three feet. So the scientist wrote in his note book, "Frog with three feet, jumps three feet."

So the scientist cut of another leg. He told the frog to jump. The frog jumped two feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook "Frog with two feet, jumps two feet."

The scientist cut off one more leg. He told the frog to jump. Frog jumped one foot. So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with one foot, jumps one foot."

So the scientist cut off his last leg.

"He said, "Frog jump. Frog jump. FROG JUMP!"

So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with no feet, goes deaf."

i need glasses. do i ever
 
 
"Doctor, doctor! I need glasses!"

"You certainly do, ma'am. This is a barber shop."


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