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dinner's ready!
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law."

The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."

a brief history of medicine
I have an earache.

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2003 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

knock, knock... goliath who?
Knock knock

Who's there?


Goliath who?

Goliath down, you looketh tired!

republicans in heaven
Why are there only 12 Republicans in heaven?
If there were any more, it'd be hell.

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