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Man: Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Father: Go ahead, son.
Man: I lost my hat and I came to church today to steal a hat off of the rack.
Father: Is that so?
Man: But then I heard you talking about the Ten Commandments - and I changed my mind.
Father: Really? My son, did you make this decision when I was discussing the commandment: "Thou shalt not steal?"
Man: No. It was when you started talking about, "Thou shalt not commit adultery" that I remembered where my hat was!
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A judge was punishing three men because they had committed a crime. Their sentence was a few years in the desert. He said that they could each take one thing with them.
The first guy decides to take an umbrella, so that he can have shade whenever he wants.
The second guy decides to take a water bottle so that he won't get thirsty.
Finally, the third guy decides to take a car door.
The judge asked, "Why in the world would you want to take a car door?" The man replies, "Just in case it gets hot, I can roll down the window."
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