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knock knock... nobel
 
 
Knock knock
* Who's there?
Nobel.
* Nobel who?
No bell so I knocked!
how to urn bennys
 
 
There was a man named Benny who loved to take walks on the beach. One day he found a bottle with a genie in it. He let the genie out.
The genie was so grateful that he granted him one wish with the condition that he never shave again, otherwise he'd turn him into an urn.
Benny got his wish of riches and fame but he kept tripping over his long beard which he hadn't shaved in 30 years. Benny said to himself, “that genie isn't around anymore, I'm shaving.” With that, he went home and shaved. Instantly he went 'POOF' and turned into an urn.
Moral to the story: A Benny shaved is a Benny urn-ed.
ultimate lightbulb joke
 
 
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. What are you, stupid?
speed demon
 
 
Harold and Lloyd were speeding down the road when a cop pulled them over.
"You were going eighty!" the officer yelled. "Why so fast?"
"We have a good reason," Lloyd explained to the cop. "Our brakes are no good so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!"

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