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500 lawyers in the ocean
 
 
What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

p. diddy, britney spears, and eminem go to hell
 
 
P. Diddy, Britney Spears, and Eminem all die and go to hell. The devil took Britney in his hands and she melted into a puddle. Then he took P. Diddy in his hands and he melted into a puddle. Then he took Eminem into his hands, but he didn't melt. The devil said, "why didn't you melt like the other two?"
He said, "Because Eminem melts in your mouth, not your hands."
a drunken leprechaun
 
 
A drunk leprechaun was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.

"Please God", he implored, "let it be blood!"

code for sex
 
 
There was a couple who did not want their children to know when they were going to have sex, so they decided on a code of 'writing a letter.' One day, Daddy said to his daughter, 'Tell your mommy that Daddy wants to write a letter.' The girl went and told her mommy and the mom said,

'The red ribbon is coming out, not now.' The girl went back to the daddy and told him.

One day, Mommy told her daughter to tell her daddy that she wanted to write a letter. Daddy replied, 'Not now. Daddy already wrote the letter by hand.'


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