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the genie and the wannabe
 
 
A man was walking down the beach when he found a bottle. He picks up the bottle, and a genie comes out. The genie says that he will grant him one wish. “Well, I'd like to go to Hawaii. But, I'm afraid of flying and I don't like the idea of going in a boat. So, I wish there was a bridge from here to Hawaii,” says the man.
“That's impossible!” says the genie, “You'll have to make another wish.”
“Ok, I want to know how to be a sucessful internet executive.” says the man.
“How many lanes do you want on that bridge? asks the genie.
sumo kamikaze
 
 
Three men, an Scot, an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building.
The Scot jumped off and shouted 'God save Scotland!'
The English man jumped off and shouted 'God Save England!'
The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted 'God save the person who I land on!'
10 reasons not to live in connecticut
 
 
10) You have to explain to most foreigners that you either live close to New York or Boston
9) Having to live next to New York
8) The two most famous people to come out of Connecticut were a con man who ran a freak show and a man who was the primary cause of the Civil War
7) Because you have no point in being there other than during the fall
6) You can either be a pansy and support the Yankees or a masochist and support the Red Sox
5) You get to be associated primarily with New York and New Jersey
4) You get to hear New Yorkers compliment you for the peace and quiet
3) People from other states think you have a ten foot pole shoved up your ass
2) People from other states are usually right
1) It's Connecticut
yo sister so ugly
 
 
Yo sister so ugly, I thought she was yo mama.

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