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free sex with fill up
 
 
Two good ol' boys were driving down the road when they needed some gas. After a while, they saw a sign that read "Free Sex with Fill-up." They decided to pull in and asked the attendant for a full tank. After he was done, they paid and the attendant started to walk away.
"Wait," the driver yelled, "what about my free sex?" The attendant rolled his eyes and came back to the car.
"Okay, but you will have to guess a number between 1 and 10."
"6."
"No, the answer was 3. Sorry." As the attendant started to walk off, the passenger asked to guess. The attendant agreed.
"7."
"No, I told you the answer was 3." The driver then sped off.
"I think that game was rigged," said the passenger. "There is no way to win.'
"Uh-uh," the driver said. "My wife won three times last week."
e.t.'s eyes wide shut
 
 
Why are E.T.'s eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill!

honeymoon
 
 
An elderly couple decided to celebrate their 50th anniversary in the same hotel and city where they spent their honeymoon. Before the act, he excused himself and went to loo and after a while came out laughing loudly.
'On our first night," the woman said, "you did the same thing and came out laughing. At the time, I was too embarrassed to ask what you were laughing about. Can you explain?"
'On that night while urinating, I made the roof wet. Today my shoes are wet."
krusty vs. the cannibals
 
 
Two cannibals were eating a clown.
One looked over at the other and asked, “Does this taste funny to you?”

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