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my favorite grade school joke
 
 
What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!
the scientist and the frog
 
 
There once was a scientist who studied frogs. One day, the scientist put the frog on the ground and told it to jump. The frog jumped four feet.

So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with four feet, jumps four feet."

So the scientist cut off one of one of the frogs legs. The scientist told the frog to jump. Frog jumped three feet. So the scientist wrote in his note book, "Frog with three feet, jumps three feet."

So the scientist cut of another leg. He told the frog to jump. The frog jumped two feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook "Frog with two feet, jumps two feet."

The scientist cut off one more leg. He told the frog to jump. Frog jumped one foot. So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with one foot, jumps one foot."

So the scientist cut off his last leg.

"He said, "Frog jump. Frog jump. FROG JUMP!"

So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with no feet, goes deaf."

terrible accident
 
 
A cop comes around a curve in the road and sees a bad accident.
A man and a woman are both dead from a car crash. The accident seems to have no explanation, but he looks up on the hill and sees a monkey waving his arms at him as if to say something. The cop says, "Hey, monkey, you know what happened?"

The monkey mimes drinking a bottle of some kind. "They were drinking? What else?"
The monkey mimes smoking a joint. "They were smoking dope? There must have been more. This is a very strange accident. Monkey! What else?"

The monkey mimes sexual relations. "They were screwing? This still doesn't make any sense. Hey monkey! What were you doing to know all this?"
Monkey mimes driving and looking behind him...

wallpaper
 
 
How many men does it take to wallpaper a room?

It depends how thinly you slice them!

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