Whatever jokes

The husband says "WHAT??"

The wife says, "You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman."

The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store.

He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. They go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. Then they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings.

The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis, but OK, if you like it then let's get it."

The wife is jumping up and down – she's so excited, she cannot believe what is going on.

She says "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register." The husband says, "No - no - no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife's face goes blank, "No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."

Her face gets really mad and she is about to explode and the husband says "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."

"Do you know her?"

"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

He only comes once a year.