Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » jokes 240

Whatever


a piece of advice
 
 
Never play leap-frog with a unicorn.
one drunken night
 
 
A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor, opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next to him. He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn't remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her. He decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge. He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with a large suitcase. He takes the suitcase out of the fridge, puts it on the table and opens it to find $1 Million. This is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing his mind. He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to the window and draws back the blind. Outside on his front lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an open noose, empty. They appear to be beckoning him and shouting.

Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly draws the blind and turns around.

In the corner of his kitchen is a leprechaun, obviously drunk as well.

He asks the leprechaun what is going on.

"Well," says the leprechaun, "I was drunk last night as well, and as I was crossing the road, I was nearly run down. You ran across the road and pushed me to safety, so I granted you three wishes in return for saving me."

"Well, I can guess the first one" says the guy, "Supermodel, bed, yeah I got that one. What about the other two?"

"The money in the fridge?" says the leprechaun, "You asked for a cool million."

"And them out there?" asks the guy,

"You said you wanted to be hung like a black man."

77 vs 69
 
 
Why is 77 better than 69?

Because you get eight (ate) more!!!!

halle berry bares all
 
 
Halle Berry got a $500,000 bonus for her much-ballyhooed, first-ever topless scene in Dominic Sena's Swordfish. And Jay Leno got an unscheduled sneak peek when Berry guested on "The Tonight Show" shortly before the film's release...

Thanks to her plunging neckline, Berry revealed rather more to her host than she had planned. "My problem is, I've never sat down in this dress," said a blushing Berry as she attempted to cover herself.

Leno's impromptu reply? "My problem is... I can't stand up!"


Page 241 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»