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sharing a room
 
 
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. 'You've got to have a room somewhere,' he pleaded. 'Or just a bed, I don't care where.' 'Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,' admitted the manager, 'and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you.' 'No problem,' the tired Marine assured him. 'I'll take it.'
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 'How'd you sleep?' asked the manager. 'Never better.' The manager was impressed. 'No problem with the other guy snoring, then?' 'Nope, I shut him up in no time,' said the Marine. 'How'd you manage that?' asked the manager. 'He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,' the Marine explained. 'I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me.'
the new 69
 
 
Due to the changes in the law, 69 is now 75.

There's a new tax on eating out...
oldest couple ever
 
 
An old man and an old woman were sitting together on their front porch.
"You used to sit closer to me," said the woman. So the man moved closer.
"You used to put your arm around me." So the man put his arm around her.
"You used to nibble on my ear."
"Let me get my teeth."
widows98
 
 
"Do you ever get horny?" said one widow to the other.
"Sure."
"What do you do about it?"
"I suck on a lifesaver."
"Oh. That works?"
"Yep."
"What beach do you go to?"

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