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santa's miranda rights
 
 
Q: Why did Santa get arrested?

A: He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!

phone line
 
 
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, 'Can I help you?'

'Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines.'

the windy day
 
 
George set out on a very windy day to see his friend Sam who was sick in bed. Hours later, he pulled his weary body into Sam's house. Sam asked him how it was. 'I'll tell ya, it was just brutal. For every step I took forewards, I fell back two steps.'
'Then how ever did you make it over here?' Sam asked.
'Well, finally I gave up, so I turned around and headed for home.'
one-armed man
 
 
Q: How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?

A: wave at him.

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