Whatever jokes

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Whatever


things your mom would never say to you
 
 
  1. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?
  2. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too.
  3. Let me smell that shirt - don't worry, it's good for another week.
  4. Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day.
  5. That outfit isn't sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse.
  6. Why don't you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper.
  7. The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here.
  8. Don't clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look bad.
  9. Can I borrow your new speed metal CDs?
  10. Naw, you don't have to call me, I'll eventually figure it out if you're in trouble.
computer humor
 
 
A computer flashed a message to its user:

"I give up! I can't handle it anymore! Let the chips fall where they may!"

which hair do you cut?
 
 
A guy sticks his head in the door of a barber shop and says, 'Bob Peters here?'
The barber looks up and says, 'Nope, just haircuts!'
the bad belt
 
 
Why did the belt get locked up?

Because he held up a pair of pants.

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