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the windy day
 
 
George set out on a very windy day to see his friend Sam who was sick in bed. Hours later, he pulled his weary body into Sam's house. Sam asked him how it was. 'I'll tell ya, it was just brutal. For every step I took forewards, I fell back two steps.'
'Then how ever did you make it over here?' Sam asked.
'Well, finally I gave up, so I turned around and headed for home.'
amishamed of myself
 
 
What do you call an Amish man on the side of the road, with his hand up a horse's ass?
A mechanic.
poach my egg
 
 
What did the egg say to the boiling water?

I just got laid and now you expect me to get hard!
through the desert on a man with no ears
 
 
A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company.

It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The last question of the interview was always the same.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the first candidate.

"Yes. You have no ears."

He quickly eliminated the first candidate.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the second candidate.

"Yes. You have no ears."

He quickly eliminated the second candidate.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the third candidate.

"Yes. You're wearing contacts."

Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, "That's correct. How did you know?"

"You can't wear glasses if you don't have any freakin' ears."


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