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monkey programmers
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, 'I'll have that monkey please'. The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop, and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash and handed it to the customer, saying, 'That'll be $5000'. The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, 'That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did he cost so much?' The shopkeeper answered, 'Ah, that monkey can program in 'C' very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money.' The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. 'That one's even more expensive - $10,000! What does he do?' 'Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; he can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff,' said the shopkeeper. The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of his own. The price tag around his neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, 'That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does he do?' The shopkeeper shrugged and said, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I haven't actually seen him do anything, but he says he's a SAP consultant.'
tomato family outing
Once upon a time there was a family of tomatoes were walking down the road. The baby was walking slowly, he began to fall behind his mommy and daddy. After about 5 minutes, the daddy became so furious he turned around and stomped on his son. "Come on, Ketchup! Let's go!"
yo mama and yo daddy
Yo mama is so fat, yo daddy is still climbing.
a manager walks into his office...
A manager walks into his office and sees a blonde crying. He approaches her and asks why she's crying. She tells him she just found out her mother died. The manager tells her to go to take the rest of the day off and not to worry about work. Later, the manager calls the blonde to see how she's doing. The blonde is crying harder than before. He tries to console her, but he couldn't. The blonde says, "I was calling everyone to let them know about my mother's death and I found out something horrible." "What?" the manager replied. "I found out my sister's mom died too!"

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