Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » jokes 108

Whatever


warm and moist
 
 
MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he?
MAN: He's at home.
CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.

The next day, the man returns.
MAN: I'd like to buy some cat food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Well... where is he?
MAN: He's at home!
CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.

The next day the man returns.
CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack?
MAN: Put your hand inside.
CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm... It's warm and moist! What is it?
MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper.

the headache
 
 
A man is having terrible headaches, he can't stand the pain and decides to go to a doctor. The doctor tells him his balls are pressing against his spine and causing a reaction that gives headaches, and the only way to cure it is to remove his testicles. The man goes home, talks to his wife and decides to have the operation the next day.

Once he gets out of the hospital he needs a new suit because the crotch is too big on his old ones. When he gets to the suit store a sales clerk walks up to him and says, 'Neck: 16.5, suit: 42 long, waist: 34.'

The ball-less man tells him that he's right about everything but the waist size -- he is actually a 32. The clerk replies, 'If you wore a 32 your balls would press against your spine and give you terrible headaches.'

superbowl!
 
 
What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl?

The Dallas Cowboys
riddle: the man
 
 
A man lives in a highrise on the 15th floor. Every morning, on the way to work, he takes the elevator all the way down to the 1st floor. But when he comes home, he takes the elevator to the 8th floor and walks the rest of the way up. The only exception is when it's raining. Why?

The man's a midget, and can't reach the buttons. When it's raining, he has his umbrella with him, so he can reach the 15 button with it.


Page 109 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»