Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » jokes 195

Whatever


a woman's plan
 
 
A woman and a man got into a really bad car accident. Both cars are totaled, but luckily no one was hurt.

After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, "Wow, just look at our cars! They are destroyed. Fortunately, we aren't hurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God! "

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.... My car is completely ruined but this bottle of wine didn't break. It's a sign that God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she handed the bottle to the man. The man agreed, opened the bottle and drank half, and then handed it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.

The man asked, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replied, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police"

ugly mama and a tail
 
 
Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something like her, I pinned a tail on it.
flat chance
 
 
You are so flat, you're a pirate's dream.

He can't wait to get his hands on a sunken chest!

what's the difference between a dead lawer ...
 
 
Q: What's the difference between a dead lawer in the middle of the road and a dead rattlesnake in the middle of the road?

A: There is skid marks before the snake


Page 196 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»