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darn crazy kids
 
 
A young punk gets on a bus and sits down in directly across from an old man.

The young punk has spiked green, purple and orange hair. His clothing is a tattered mix of leather rags. His entire face and body are covered with piercings and his earrings are big, bright red, yellow and green feathers.

The old man stares at the young punk as the bus travels across the city.

Finally, the punk looks across at the old man, and yells, "What are you looking at, old man! Didn't you do anything wild when you were young?"

Without missing a beat, the old man replies, "Yeah. Back when I was very young and in the Navy, I got really drunk in Singapore and had sex with a parrot... I thought you might be my son."

just browsing
 
 
A blind man and his seeing eye dog walked into a store. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around. Upset by this, the manager of the store demanded to know what he was doing. The blind man calmly replied, "I'm just lookin' around."
p. diddy, britney spears, and eminem go to hell
 
 
P. Diddy, Britney Spears, and Eminem all die and go to hell. The devil took Britney in his hands and she melted into a puddle. Then he took P. Diddy in his hands and he melted into a puddle. Then he took Eminem into his hands, but he didn't melt. The devil said, "why didn't you melt like the other two?"
He said, "Because Eminem melts in your mouth, not your hands."

 
 
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said 'I haven't eaten anything in four days.' She looked at him and said, 'God, I wish I had your willpower.'

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