Whatever jokes

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stealing from work
 
 
What do you call a prostitute with her hands under her skirt?

Self-employed.
helping the pope with his holy crossword
 
 
A gentleman is sitting next to the Pope on an airplane. He sees that the Pope is doing a crossword puzzle. He thinks to himself, "I love doing crossword puzzles. I hope he will ask me for help."

Time passes, and the Pope says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know a four-letter word that describes a woman and ends in 'unt'?"

The gentleman thinks about this and was about to answer when he realized he couldn't say something like that to the Pope. He thinks a while longer and finally says, "I believe the word you're looking for is 'aunt'."

The Pope replies, "Oh, you're right. That fits too. Would you happen to have an eraser?"

priest vs. homosexual
 
 
What is the difference between a priest and a homosexual?

The way they say ahhhh-men.

hard sleepin'
 
 
If a light sleeper can't sleep with a light on, can a hard sleeper sleep with a hard on?

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