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fire engine red
Why are fire engines red?

You'd be red too if somebody picked up your hose and dragged it across the street!

yankees -vs- red sox
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student.
"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?"
"The Red Sox."
"Why's that?"
"Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too."
"That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"
"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
ice cream
What do you call a person who can sit on an ice cream and tell the flavor?

A smartass!

car dealership funny
I went to a car dealership to look at cars, and saw a sign that read, 'If you want to get back on your feet... miss a car payment.'

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