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baked bean death
 
 
Slash, a well-known murderer, had been on death row for nearly 20 years. During that time, he had befriended the Warden. Now, the Warden still had a job to do, but that didn't stop him from treating Slash special from time to time. A week before Slash was to go to the electric chair, the Warden asked Slash if there was anything special he would like. Slash thought for a bit and said he would like the Warden to contact his wife and have her make meatloaf for him the rest of his life (which by this time, was short). Of course, the Warden complied and each day, Slash sat down and had a big feed of his wife's meatloaf.

The night before the big day, another prisoner was allowed to visit Slash and asked him. 'Aren't you afraid of dying tomorrow?'

Slash answered, 'I ain't gonna die tomorrow.'

The other prisoner then said, 'But tomorrow is Friday, and we all know, that's the day they're sendin' you to the electric chair.'

'Don't matter,' said Slash, 'if this meatloaf can't kill me, nothin' can.'

up in arms over this religion thing
 
 
What do you call an angry religous group ?

A pissedapalion!
gotta hand it to you
 
 
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop.
true software professional
 
 
Guy 1: Hey! Why do you smoke cigarettes even though there is a warning on the pack that says it's bad for your health?
Guy 2: I am a software professional. I don't bother about warnings -- I am concerned only about the 'Alerts.'

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