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heavy sack
 
 
Why is Santa's sack so big?

He only comes once a year.

10 ways to annoy cops
 
 
1. Say, "Damn, officer, you must have been going fast to keep up with me!"

2. When he approaches you, stare at his gut and say, "Hmmm. I thought cops had to be physically fit."

3. Sway and ask if his bulletproof vest protects him from projectile vomiting.

4. Lie on the ground and ask him to draw your outline in chalk.

5. Throw his nightstick and tell the police dog to fetch it.

6. Ask him if you can use his pepper spray to spice up your pizza.

7. Tell him you wanted to be a cop, but decided to graduate high school instead.

8. When he asks you to walk the line, "Riverdance" instead.

9. Instead of pleading the 5th amendment, plead the 13th or 16th.

10. When he asks for your license, say, "Oh sure, officer, can you hold my beer for a sec?"

a little boy wrote to santa ...
 
 
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."

Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

bombs away!
 
 
Q: Why was the suicide bomber disappointed when he met his 72 virgins?

A: He blew off his penis.

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