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the path less traveled
 
 
Q: How does a crazy person travel through the woods?

A: They take the psycho path.
smoke it
 
 
What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water?

A soggy butt.

three-legged race
 
 
One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car.

He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour. The chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house.

The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane. He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen.

The farmer said that he was a geneticist and had developed this breed of chicken because he, his wife and his son each like a drumstick when they have chicken and this way they only have to kill one chicken.

"That's the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman. "How do they taste?"

"I don't know," said the farmer. "We've never caught one."

confucius pocket talk
 
 
Confucius says, 'Man with hole in his pocket feels cocky all day."

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