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top ten surreal, scary, or stupid situations
 
 
  1. Remake of "Roots" starring Michael Jackson
  2. Performance of "The Nutcracker" by the Bolshoi Ballet with special guest Hillary Clinton
  3. The Martha Stewart WWF Smackdown
  4. Any sitcom starring Emeril Lagasse
  5. Jerry Falwell napping with a Teletubby stuffed toy
  6. Any day in the life of the British royalty
  7. Ricky Martin in a tasteful, hot pink, off-the-shoulder number
  8. Bill Gates on a Harley Davidson
  9. Yet another commercial starring Carrot Top
  10. Osama bin Laden in a Christian Science bookstore
five pigs in a bar
 
 
Five pigs were standing outside a bar. The first pig went in and ordered one beer. 15 minutes later, he asked where the bathroom was.
The bartender replied, ' Down the hall and to your right.'
Then, the second pig came in and ordered two beers, and after 30 minutes, he asked where the bathroom was.
Once again, the bartender replied, 'Down the hall and to your right.'
After that, the third pig came in. He ordered three beers, and after 45 minutes, asked where the bathroom was.
The bartender told him the same as the other to.
The fourth pig came in, and ordered four beers, and after and hour, asked where the bathroom was.
The bartender told him the same thing as he told the other three.
After all this, the fifth pig came in and ordered five beers. After about an hour and a half, he had NOT asked where the bathroom was. The bartender was wondering why.
So he asked, 'Don't you want to know where the bathroom is like the other four pigs?' The fifth pig just looked up him and answered smartly,
'No. Because I'm the piggy that goes, 'Wee wee wee,' all the way home.'
the little girl and the wrinkles
 
 
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled.

Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa.

"Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl.

"Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa.

"Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days, isn't He?"

epileptic bath
 
 
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in the laundry.


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