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your dad's like cement
You dad's like cement, it takes him two days to get hard!
the cowboy's wish
There was a cowboy riding down a trail on his horse and he came upon a rattlesnake. The cowboy reached for his gun and was about to shoot him when the rattlesnake said, "Don't shoot me. I am an enchanted rattle snake. If you don't shoot me I will give you three wishes."

The cowboy said, "Okay, I would like to have a face just like Clark Gable. I would like to have a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger's. And I would like to have sexual equipment like this here horse I'm ridin'."

The rattle snake said, "Alright. When you get back to the bunkhouse and look in the mirror, it will happen."

The cowboy got on his horse and rode back to the bunkhouse. He looked in the mirrior and saw a face just like Clark Gable staring at him. He ripped of his shirt and had rippiling muscles. The he ripped of his pants, looked down and yelled, "I forgot I was riding the mare!"

who is god?
A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"

"Both son. God is both."

After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"

"Both son, both."

"Daddy, does God love children?"

"Yes son, he loves all children."

The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"

blonde house party
How do you get a blonde on the roof?

....tell her drinks are on the house.

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