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how to get a raise
A boss tells his new employee, "I'll give you 8 bucks an hour starting today and in three months, I'll raise it to 10 bucks an hour. So when would you like to start?'

'In 3 months.'

using computers for a gratuitous screw reference
The difference between computers and people?

With computers, software goes into hardware.

two morons
Once there were these two morons sitting on a rock.
One moron fell off.
Why didn't the other one fall off?
He was a little more on!
havaii or hawaii
These two persons are discussing whether the state of Hawaii is pronounced 'Havaii' or 'Hawaii.' So there they stood arguing and arguing, until they decided to ask the gentleman that was walking by. The gentleman said, 'Havaii.' So they both looked at each other, and as the gentleman was leaving, one of the two said to him, 'Thank you.' The gentleman replied by saying, 'Your velcome.'

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