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code for sex
 
 
There was a couple who did not want their children to know when they were going to have sex, so they decided on a code of 'writing a letter.' One day, Daddy said to his daughter, 'Tell your mommy that Daddy wants to write a letter.' The girl went and told her mommy and the mom said,

'The red ribbon is coming out, not now.' The girl went back to the daddy and told him.

One day, Mommy told her daughter to tell her daddy that she wanted to write a letter. Daddy replied, 'Not now. Daddy already wrote the letter by hand.'

irish delecacy
 
 
There once was a lowly snail, who was busily crawling through the forrest one day when he happens upon a Leprechaun, perched upon a toadstool. The Leprechaun looks down at the poor snail, crawling on his belly all his life, and takes pity on him. "Snail," he says. "I am going to grant you a wish. Whatever you want, you have only to ask."

The snail can't believe his luck! He thinks for a moment, and then excitedly exclaims, "Yes! I do have a wish! I want a brand new, shiny red Corvette Stingray!" The Leprechaun at first thinks that this is pretty strange, but then, considering that he is talking to a snail, perhaps not.

"And" continues the snail. "I want a bright, golden "S" painted on the doors, the hood and the trunk of my corvette."

"You shall have your wish," responds the Leprechaun. With the wave of his hand, the snail's wish is granted.

And now, whenever the snail roars through the forrest in his shiny new corvette, with the big "S" on the side, all the other animals of the forrest say... "Wow! Look at that crazy "S" car go!"

dead composer
 
 
What is Beethoven doing in his grave?

De-Composing!

trouble
 
 
A man walks into a bar. Bartender asks what'll have.
Man replies "A Beer and a shot of whiskey before the trouble starts".

Bartender shakes his head and gives him his drinks.

All night, each time the bartender asks for his order the man says "A Beer and a shot of whiskey before the trouble starts".

Finally the bartender asks the man what trouble he's talking about.

The man says "Give me a beer and I might just tell you".

The bartender replies, "Sorry, you've had your limit for the night".

The man says "Ohh, now the trouble starts"..


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