Whatever jokes

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skeleton crossing the road
Why'd the skeleton cross the road?

To go to the body shop.
Q: What does an egg say after it's put in a bowl of boiling water?

A: How do you expect me to get hard when I've just been laid.
man finds hat, religion
A man loses his hat, so he goes to church to steal one off of the hat rack. When he gets there, the priest was giving his sermon on the Ten Commandments. Something in the sermon gives the man a flash of insight and, after mass, the man goes to confession to tell the priest what he was going to do...

Man: Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

Father: Go ahead, son.

Man: I lost my hat and I came to church today to steal a hat off of the rack.

Father: Is that so?

Man: But then I heard you talking about the Ten Commandments - and I changed my mind.

Father: Really? My son, did you make this decision when I was discussing the commandment: "Thou shalt not steal?"

Man: No. It was when you started talking about, "Thou shalt not commit adultery" that I remembered where my hat was!

the dough boyz
How does Aunt Jemima turn on the Pilsbury Doughboy?

She squeezes his doughnuts!

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