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one night, george w. bush is tossing restlessly
 
 
One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him. Bush asks him, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, then fades away.

The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom.

Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight.

The third night sleep is still not in the cards for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of F. D. R. hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, What is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mists.

Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now, to help the country?" Bush pleads.

Abe replies, "My advice is, do something relaxing. Go see a play!"

bra shopping
 
 
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?"

The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart.

Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?"

The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil?"

hanukkah gift guilt
 
 
A Jewish guy's mother gave him two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time he visited her, he made sure to wear one.

As he walked into the house, his mother frowned and said, "What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?"

walking man, into bar he goes
 
 
A guy walks into a bar and says, "I think I've heard this one before!"

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