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risky high seas adventure
 
 
There was this couple that had twins and they couldn't decide what to name them. When they were teenagers, the dad noticed that one of them always looked towards the sea and the other looked away, so he decided to call them Towards and Away.
Then, one day, the dad decides to take the twins on a trip out to sea to go fishing. Months pass, then years. Finally, the dad comes back looking tired.
The mom asks him what happened and he said that all three of them were fishing one day and Towards had caught a hold of a big fish on his rod. Since the fish was so strong, it carried Towards away.
The mom said, 'Oh, what a horrible, cruel fish!'
The dad said, 'Yeah, you should've seen the one that got Away.'
beat the casino
 
 
What is the only way to keep your money from the casinos in Vegas?

When you get off the plane walk into the propellers!
fetal attraction
 
 
How does one human embryo talk to another human embryo?

It uses a stem cell phone!

grandma on the run
 
 
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.

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